Sunday, December 26, 2010

I'm going to have a daughter.

 You.. are.. a.. GIRL. And I am still in shock. I mean, I knew the odds - 50/50. But in my mind, I was 100% mentally prepared for a boy. In my gut, however, I knew you were a girl. From the very beginning, it was this very strong, scary, intuition. Which, I know, sounds sort of ridiculous, given the equal odds - but it was truly a gut feeling. One that I didn't like to admit out loud, because.. I don't know why. Because I didn't want to jinx things? Not, of course, that a precious little boy would be less favorable, but because the thought of a girl just kind of made me giddy. For all the reasons that they do make us giddy.

At the ultrasound appointment, I was pretty wound up. I hadn't had time to really get nervous, up until that long endless wait in the waiting room. In doctors waiting rooms, I typically like to power through as many celebrity gossip magazines as possible, but that day, I just stared. At the walls, the chairs.. who even knows. My mind was going at warp speed at how very much our lives were about to change. The endless differences between a boy and girl, our futures, the planning.. everything. We were (FINALLY) called back and the ultrasound began. She told us, after measuring different things, that all looked right on target. Praise the LORD, for this was most certainly the main source of my nauesous anticipation. All looked perfect, and that was music to my ears. At that point, my adrenaline kicked in and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I literally put my hand on my chest to feel it, it was beating that hard and fast. She pointed to 'the goods' - and said that we were looking at a little girl. And my rapidly beating heart went to my throat, and my eyes watered, and I looked at Pablo in complete shock and grabbed his hand and held on for dear life. Minutes later, I finally let go and only then realized how hard I was squeezing it. Sorry! I was/am in shock.

Afterward, we went out to lunch, and just looked at each other with these stupid grins, and would say 'A lot!' - referring to how much our lives just changed. We know it's still a baby. She will still require endless diaper changes and there will still be endless sleepless nights. Still the same 'first's - smiles, clapping, words, food, tantrums, dancing...  But. She will be OUR DAUGHTER. We have never been the parents of a GIRL. I know this all sounds so dumb, as if we are the first people to ever have a girl - but this is the first girl, to us, and we are still a little bit awed by that prospect.

After lunch, we went (where do you think??!) girl! clothes! shopping!!!! It was just so darn fun. The market for baby clothes has definitely given the girls-side the edge. There's so much out there. Every cute outfit Pablo saw, he would hold up to show me, practically squealing over the immense cuteness. I still used some store-coupons, and only bought what was on sale. But still. He's going to need a raise and a promotion, and soon.

And this post is delayed because we wanted to wait to tell immediate family all in one room, on Christmas morning. We thought that us finding out 9 days prior to Christmas was an opportunity we couldn't pass up. BOY was I stupid. It has taken all the strength I possess to not blow this little secret, with just about everyone I know. At least people I don't know have been getting the good news, without them even asking (and caring, probably!). Neighbors we hardly speak with.. retail store employees.. hairdressers.. oh yes, they all have heard the news, because I HAVE to tell someone. I have literally dreamt almost every night of standing on a rooftop, or somesuch other tall building, and screaming 'We're Having A GIIIIIRL!'.

So, internets, WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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